The Bachelorette (Episode 15.04)

Season 15, Episode 4
Date of airing: June 3, 2019 (ABC)
Nielsen ratings information: TBD

In which Luke Parker became the villain of the show, and he managed to misplace all the cards that might have given him the prize of becoming the bachelor in the titular show that airs during the winter months on ABC. There is never not a villain in a reality competition show and Mr. Parker definitely put all his feelers out of becoming the deranged and obsessive guy in a woman’s life, because maybe that is how he’s been living his life before he decided to become part of a reality competition soap opera. How dangerous Mr. Parker can be has already been seen in the show, and I already had my share of words brought to the digital paper, and while this episode might not have put an extra stamp on it, it didn’t make Mr. Parker shine in any different light. In fact, he is now the reason this episode did not end with the rose ceremony, and he is the reason most of the cocktail party was about him. But then again, isn’t that what always happens more than four episodes into a reality competition game? You know each other for weeks by that point and you have come to learn whom you love and whom you hate. And Mr. Parker is definitely one you love to hate, although in this case it doesn’t mean anything positive.

And Hannah leads the Celtics single-handedly into the finals.

Three episodes of the season have been spent in Los Angeles in the Bachelor Mansion, which is why I was glad that the show moved to the opposite coast for a little bit of a change in scenery. The cast went to Rhode Island and decided to spend a little of their love over there – ABC spared no expense in getting the cast and crew there, as well as giving the men and their woman the most expensive-looking date possible. So, you want a date hosted by two players of the Boston Celtics? No problem, ABC is here to help. You want your date to end with Jake Owen on stage singing you some songs, while a cheering crowd is all around you, their fingers on the recording button of their cell phones? No problem, ABC has the non-disclosure agreements ready to be signed, which no one is interested in following, because which television network is going to keep track of a few hundred people whose phones were out while Hannah and Tyler were doing it with their tongues on stage? I can only hope that ABC had enough money in their pockets to pay the medical expenses Kevin was racking up after he dislocated his shoulder during a round of rugby, because that’s only fair.

The season turned around the premise and now there are two one-on-one dates, which Hannah had with Jed first and then Tyler later. Both ended well enough for the guys to get their roses, but both dates weren’t particularly interesting. With Jed she only walked around town, before they stepped into the basketball court of the Boston Celtics, while the date with Tyler was first troubled by Hannah’s emotions over trusting or not trusting Mr. Parker and then continued to be boring, as the two went fishing — which is something I don’t have the patience for, even though I have pretty solid patience at times. What I learned from both one-on-one dates is that Hannah sometimes likes it simple and boring, too, and in case you don’t have any money to spend on her while searching for the next best and most expensive restaurant, let it be known that she also likes walking around town and making up false facts.

The show sometimes has a live audience.

Meanwhile, the group date was full of action and violence. In front of a huge crowd (this entire episode was about crowds for some reason) the thirteen men played rugby, and of course there was a slight accident (Kevin’s dislocated shoulder), as well as some sort of incident which would define the remainder of the episode, as well as the beginning of the next episode, most likely. There was a duel between the two Lukes, and because THE BACHELORETTE is partly a soap opera, the next hour had to be all about the Lukes going at it. No one could shut up about it and Hannah was emotionally distressed thanks to it, showcasing that the eponymous character of the show can be a real person, too, and isn’t playing a wannabe character like most of the guys are (and I have a serious problem with seeing anything real and honest about the guys — absolutely no one stands out in that regard). Tyler was making use of Hannah’s emotional state, as he was hoping to take it as an advantage and making Hannah feel as great as possible during their one-on-one date, but that doesn’t mean the conflict between the Lukes was forgotten before, during and after the second one-on-one. In fact, the editors decided to cut the entire episode around it.

The whole cocktail party was edited around the drama between the Lukes. The whole confrontational scene between the Lukes was the center part of the episode, because ABC thought it was the best thing that could have happened to it. And then the episode had to end before the rose ceremony, because the Lukes drama was swallowing up all the screentime. When reality television turns into a frustrating watch, it’s hard to even accept that one is watching reality television.

Looking into the fire instead of dealing with the guys.

Best part of the episode: Peter and Hannah are officially boyfriend and girlfriend now. Oh well, at least some high school spirit is in this show. It almost made me want to go and watch all the high school TV dramas, starting with THE O.C., and then moving on to all the others.
Worst part of the episode: This is where I would have cut the line with Hannah, if I had been part of the group: She said that she was having the strongest feelings for Luke P., not knowing that he has been manipulating the hell out of the other guys when she wasn’t around. Someone who can’t see the trees while standing in the middle of a forest isn’t a person I would like to hang out with. Besides that, the whole Lukes drama was so bonkers that I almost decided to give up the season, just because of it. I am already watching a soap opera, I don’t have the mind power for two.
Weirdest part of the episode: Let’s get serious for a moment: Does ABC really pull out the non-disclosure agreements when certain segments are being shot in front of an audience? The rugby game, Jed and Hannah in the bar, and the Hannah and Tyler on the concert stage… That brings spoilers ABC doesn’t want to get out, and putting so many spoilers out there without protection would be a bit worrisome to someone like me.
Kisses of the episode: Jed got a smootcher on the lips when his date with Hannah began, and then later in the photo booth, and again later in the Cheers bar in front of a cheering crowd, and again later on the green after eating the ice cream, and again later on the basketball court after dunking some balls, and again later after she gave him a rose during the dinner date. Garret got a kiss during group date evening. Peter kissed Hannah during group date evening as well. Tyler put a smootcher on Hannah during their one-on-one date, and then later during the date, and then during the Jake Owen concert in front of a cheering audience and their recording cell phones. Peter got kisses during the cocktail party after he and Hannah officially declared themselves boyfriend and girlfriend.
Contestant of the episode: There are still some low-key guys in the mix, but Garrett was so low-key in this one, you would almost forget he got the rose after the group date. Maybe the Lukes drama is to blame, but maybe Garrett was just a simple player with a simple heart, easy to fall in love with.

The Bachelorette (Episode 15.03)

Season 15, Episode 3
Date of airing: May 27, 2019 (ABC)
Nielsen ratings information: TBD

In which Luke Parker and Cam became the same person in these 84 minutes, because of their obsessive ways of seeing something in Hannah that isn’t their next girlfriend or their future wife. Both Cam in the first half, and Luke in the second half, had some serious issues in keeping calm and letting things run like they are supposed to run on this dating game competition, and in hindsight I have no idea why they thought they could just rewrite the rules of the Bachelor franchise, and think that they have won Hannah’s heart already, just because they thought of themselves as more bold and more courageous than any of the other guys. That made both guys problematic, more worse than the other, and I am almost thankful that one of them was sent packing after the rose ceremony, while the other one was given a stern warning, which means if Luke hasn’t listened to Hannah, then he will certainly be leaving Los Angeles after the next episode, which might not be such a bad decision.

John Paul Jones gives birth to pain.

And with “one worse than the other,” I do mean Mister Parker in that regard, because he really was an awful human being in this episode. He thought he had it all figured out, he believed he already had Hannah for himself (maybe because he was able to sneak into her room at the end of the previous rose ceremony and most likely spending a few hours with her), he even proclaimed that it should have been him taking care of Hannah when she was sick, that Hanna thinks Luke should have been with her instead of Connor, that Hannah is actually comparing all the guys to him, the self-proclaimed winner of this season of THE BACHELORETTE. There was a “beautiful” quote of Luke’s in this episode that made me wonder if he was actually right in the head, or whether he has some serious obsessive and controlling issues: “It’s really frustrating to see these guys go ahead of me. […] There’s some really good guys here, but I mean, she has to compare them with me. And I know that when she does that, she’s gonna be like ‘Man, these guys are great, but they’re not Luke Parker’.” Maybe he meant it as a joke, maybe the editors of the Bachelor franchise made Luke shine in a really bad light here, but maybe the guy really is a little messed up in his head and for the first time he is learning what it’s like for something to not go the way he imagined it to go. Maybe the guy had a game plan that would lead him to a win, but now he realizes that his game plan is garbage. Or maybe it’s just all of the above, plus the pressure of dating an attractive woman with a bunch of other guys at the same time. Besides that, there is a sign of Luke P. being extremely controlling in general, which can never be good in case he does win this season and gets into a relationship with Hannah. Maybe Hannah’s best friend and returning guest star Dani should have looked out for that instead of guys with an insincere heart.

The group dates were fun to watch. The first one taught then men what it’s like to be pregnant and to be a mother, while also learning something about female sexuality, while the second part was fun in general, in spite of the shameless THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS 2 promo all throughout, although it was to be expected that the season would hammer out promotion left and right at some point. The first group date showed me that it’s quite easy to teach men about female sexuality, pregnancy and motherhood (even without the help of Hollywood B-listers like “the guy from AMERICAN PIE” (John Paul Jones didn’t know Jason Biggs’ name, or that he starred in other productions than that movie with Shannon Elizabeth masturbating in a teenage bedroom that wasn’t her’s?), and it made me wonder if some of the women representatives in Congress could give most of the Republican men in the House and Senate the same kind of lesson, just so we can all see that they are creating anti-women laws not because they don’t understand female anatomy and sexuality, but because they are anti-women. I would also love to see Republican men being administered with electroshocks that simulate child labor, although I have no idea how those shocks were able to simulate child labor in the first place. It was nice to see Jenny Mollen though — she should be in more stuff, which preferably isn’t a reality television show.

The final note is the best one for Hannah to find.

Meanwhile, Hannah’s one-on-one date with the lone remaining Connor of this season (who also happens to be Caucasian, compared to the other Connor, who was Asian-American) turned out to be interesting as well. Seeing them together have a conversation in her hotel bedroom was almost sweet, and it’s like Hannah’s sudden illness was the perfect gift for Connor to be a sweet guy in general, without having to live through the pressure of surviving a potentially complex date. After all, date night in a hotel room is much easier to go through, and probably more fun as well. Besides that, what gave Connor the rose after that were his little notes he left for Hannah to find and scavenge through.

Later that week, the cocktail party turned into a tailgate party, because Hannah likes it to be among men and have a little fun. All she wanted was a perfect sunny day in a Los Angeles mansion, without any of the sad sob stories that maybe made her give a rose earlier in the episode (to Mike, after he expanded on his back story that included a miscarriage). Of course, a tailgate party needing to be a good and fun one wouldn’t be part of this episode of THE BACHELORETTE if it weren’t for Cam, who went straight-up suicidal during the party and played all his cards at one, as if he was going “all in” in a Texas Hold ’em match, while he had the second or third-most chips of all the players. I mean, he looked quite good after the previous episode, when he still got a kiss and the rose during the episode-closing ceremony, even after he barged in on group night in which he was not invited to. That he played all those chips immediately made him more desperate than Luke Parker, but at least Luke was just possibly nuts. Cam was just dumb and ridiculous with his game plan, so he burned up and had to pay the price at the end.

Group date picture, presented by an animated motion picture.

Best part of the episode: All those sweet pets during the second group date with all those attractive guys, sometimes even ripping off their shirts for that photoshoot. It was easy fun, compared to the first group date, which was torturous fun (for Hannah). What a shame that this episode didn’t have more playtime between the guys and the animals.
Worst part of the episode: Cam and Luke P. had no clue. During the first group date, it was Cam who interrupted (mostly Mike), and during the second group date, it was Luke who barged in on conversations, like he has learned nothing from what the guys have probably been telling him after the dates. Those men have learned nothing, which begs the question why one of them is still part of the game after this episode.
Weirdest part of the episode: Tyler G. left midway through without saying goodbye. I guess he left in a hurry, and cameras to record the spectacle were nowhere to be found. And honestly, after two episodes and a bit of this one, I couldn’t even pick Tyler out of a line-up, which tells me that pretty much all the guys on this show look the same.
Kisses of the episode: Hannah got eight as depicted here. I am too lazy to find out which two guys were making out with her during the second group date, as she was part of the photoshoot with the guys and some tongue action happened there, but Jed, Mike and Tyler C. were able to lock lips with the girls of their current dreams after the first group date, while Garrett made out with her after the second group date. Peter also made out with her that night, but his kiss was more serious and super hot, edging on being R-rated. I think he even touched her butt in that tight and short cocktail dress of her’s. One-on-one date Connor was able to smootch with her in her hotel bed, making his date an instant win!
Contestant of the episode: And Peter was the one who impressed me the most. His passionate kiss with Hannah was the thing that gave him the rose at the end of the second group date, which means he was putting it all in there. With success!

The Bachelorette (Episode 15.02)

Season 15, Episode 2
Date of airing: May 20, 2019 (ABC)
Nielsen ratings information: TBD

In which Matteo ate bugs for Hannah, because Colton from her THE BACHELOR season wasn’t into eating bugs. It’s probably a good thing that this was just the comedic credits sequence, as well as a good thing for Matteo, because he lives on to be part of the next episode of THE BACHELORETTE. So many things have happened for the guys to force themselves to be bold and courageous, and for some reason they all paid out in this episode, and all the bold men have gotten their roses to get carried to the next round of the game. In a way, this was an episode about being bold.

Besides Matteo being the bold guy in the credits scene, the most boldest of all were two other contestants, proving that the franchise is all about gaming the other contestants and winning over the heart of the eponymous character by simply being able to break some of the unwritten rules of the game and showcasing that they can play outside the gaming hours. Luke P. managed to be bold by telling Hannah in front of a live audience that he is falling in love with her, ensuing a discussion among the men whether it’s even realistic for a guy to fall in love with a woman 48 hours after meeting her. Cam also decided he did not want to play according to the rules, so he interrupted a couple of one-on-one conversations between Hanna and the guys, and even barged into the second group night date, proving that neither ABC nor the producers of THE BACHELORETTE are interested in following procedure of the game. Both Luke P. and Cam got roses during the rose ceremony, and while the rest of the guys were impressed (by Luke’s physique) and frightened and angered (by Cam’s boldness to crash date night, when he wasn’t invited to begin with), Hannah seemed very much into all of it, and that might be the message and morale of the season here: Be bold, and maybe you will win the woman’s heart. The CW once had the network tagline of “Be Bold,” when they fired up their DC television universe with ARROW, and it turns out the network is currently one of the better ones of the American television market, because they decided to not play by the rules, to redefine themselves. Luke P. and Cam, while not entirely comparable with a broadcast network, are kind of similar in approach here, as they started to redefine the show’s unwritten rules and teach future contestants that being different is what gets you points.

If this doesn’t work out, Luke can audition to be the next Terminator.

It’s also positive that Cam wasn’t super annoying while interrupting one-on-ones, and that Luke P. is freaking hot like he was just made out of clay. Cam managed to be friendly and honest, when he showed up at the group date he wasn’t invited to, and it’s not like he stuck around for forever and stole the time of the other guys. Luke P. managed to learn a little from Cam’s methods and decided to be extra sneaky about his game moves, hence him joining Hannah for a make-out session after the rose ceremony. Because really, who is gonna interrupt them, since they basically have the entire night for themselves? In fact, I am stunned that Cam didn’t barge in again and interrupted that one-on-one as well.

All this made for a fascinating episode of THE BACHELORETTE. The contestants come to realize that the game has to be played differently, and that can make for a suspenseful season. Will Luke P. continue to be ballsy and make moves before and after the official game gets on the way? Will Cam continue to be bold and deliver his message while someone else has a one-on-one with Hannah? And how well will the two fare during their individual date with the woman of their dreams, if they ever get this far?

She likes it when men crush to the ground before her feet.

Before this entire review turns into a Luke P. and Cam story though, let’s have a few words about all the other stuff that happened in this episode. The group dates certainly seemed interesting — the Mr. Right pageant was a nice way to bring some guys out of their shirts and in front of the cameras (and the female audience) with their abs, while the roller derby expectedly caused a few accidents on the way and almost made Dustin pay without his participation for the rest of the season, but he used the time with Hannah to not only nurse his injured ankle, but also tell her about his shyness and quietness (hey, a guy just like me!), which ultimately led him to receive the rose during date night. Jed also made use of his character traits during the first group date, and his special abilities of sing and guitar playing brought him a rose as well. And all this after Luke P. confessed his love for Hannah straight into a microphone (which led him to win the Mr. Right pageant). The one-on-one date was spent with Tyler G., who according to Hanna was the most perfect man to spend her first individual date with. Also, note that she showed up in all-white to a date that was supposed to “get messy,” which essentially means something is about to happen that will get you dirty. Just in case you go on a date, and your date appears in all-white clothes: Either prepare for madness, or run away quickly.

There should be more two-on-one dates on the show.

Best part of the episode: Hannah and Tyler G.’s date on the hills after the dirt riding seemed kind of romantic, and I got a bit jealous just looking at that. My always lonely heart is gonna break when another one of those perfect daytime dates come up during the run of the season.
Worst part of the episode: It almost seemed like a genre cliche, when all the group night guys came to interrupt Cam’s candid camera moment (after he barged into their date with Hannah) and had something to say to the guy. The security guys behind the cameras might have been waiting on edge during these scenes, but the other thing it showed was that the guys who did come out to talk to Cam were very much predictable.
Weirdest part of the episode: I also felt weird for Jed having to look at Hannah helping Luke P. to get his shirt off. Hannah’s following moments of cursing the hell out of the editor who had to put bleeps under her breaths also made this whole thing looked like she just cheated on 22 guys with Luke P.
Kisses of the episode: Hannah got the taste of the guys on numerous occasions. Luke P. was smootching with her four times — during the Mr. Right pageant, during the group date night, during cocktail night, and after the rose ceremony. Jed was lucky to lock lips with her during group date night and during cocktail night, his rose making him look like a winner. Tyler G. won contact with Hannah’s lips after their one-on-one date, Dustin was scoring a kiss after their group date night, when he told her about his shyness and quietness (also, his ankle injury might have helped). Cam surprisingly got a kiss from her after he barged in on the second group date night, although he only had contact with her lips, and tongue was nowhere to be found. During the cocktail party, Connor S. and Tyler C. were able to win a few private moments with the Bachelorette, upping the number of kisses in this episode to eleven.
Contestant of the episode: Cam managed to be bold, his opponents were angry, but Hannah still gave him a rose during the rose ceremony. That means his tactic is working, and in the process he riles up some of the guys, which could mean they make a few more mistakes on the way, and Cam has less to do to win Hannah’s heart. But will he ever get past the boss villain with the body of a Greek, Luke P.?

The Bachelorette (Episode 15.01)

Season 15, Episode 1
Date of airing: May 13, 2019 (ABC)
Nielsen ratings information: TBA

I don’t know what it is about reality television with a bunch of ridiculously hot people enclosed in a tight space and having to interact with each other, but it’s the reality TV I am watching. Maybe it’s the notion that those people make for ensemble-type reality television drama, or maybe it’s a more interesting form of a competition, when you always happen to be around your opponent, always looking them in the eye and following their moves step-by-step. Or maybe it’s the fact that between the competition plays, there is always time for normal human behavior and connection, which is something THE BACHELOR and its spin-off show THE BACHELORETTE certainly has. Not everything about the game should be a competition — sometimes there simply needs to be room for something that is anything but a competition. Although in reality it’s always a competition. In this reality television soap opera, you aren’t just in the game when you’re talking to the eponymous Bachelorette, you’re also in the game when trying to find out things about the other guys, so you can device a way to always be a step ahead of them. The only season of THE BACHELORETTE I watched was the one with Andi Dorfman in the summer of 2014, and in that season, Nick always knew how to be a step ahead of the other guys, making him an immediate favorite of mine (which is probably why he must have been a general favorite, hence is multiple seasons on THE BACHELOR?). Nick knew that THE BACHELORETTE is not a dating show, but a gaming competition. This isn’t just about winning the heart of the girl, even if it’s the main goal, but it’s also about winning a season of television, after which you get the prize of having a girlfriend, a fiancée, and maybe a wife and a mother for your future children. All of this is a game, and I can only hope the guys in this season come to recognize this.

An 85-minute episode, in which you get introduced to 31 personalities… Yeah, it’s not a great way to fire up a season of television, but it’s not like this has never been the problem of any reality competition show with more than 15 characters on it. It’s always hard to remember everything about all of them, and it’s even harder to remember anything about the people who will be the first to exit the competition, because they happened to lose in all of the games. Eight men were shown the door by the end of this episode, and I can barely remember stuff of half of these guys, simply due to the fact that there isn’t enough airtime for them to be more memorable than their boringly hot faces. I mean, seriously, if you get a less attractive human into the show, he or she might be more memorable by the end.

The girls are ready to clean up the slate of sexy men.

Two of the guys having exited the season already have become memorable for me though. The first guy’s exit is quite obviously one of the highlights of the season already, as Scott was swiftly kicked out by Hannah for having had a girlfriend the week before production of the season started. It made me realize (and remember) that the show is still run by its titular character, and that the producers behind the scenes might not even have a say in certain events that might concur over the course of the show’s run. There could be a guy deciding to crash the season and win Hannah’s heart and she might allow it, forcing the producers to add another competitor to the game. Hannah might be bored with a few guys and decides to get rid of them before the rose ceremony, which is totally her right (I believe), and all the producers could do is trying to talk her out of making that move. Some of the competitors could decide to just quit and move out the door for whatever reason, and all the producers can do is wink bye-bye. Okay, the latter isn’t a choice being made by the Bachelorette, but in a way, this could be a reality television franchise, in which the producers don’t have all the decision-making cards in the hands. Even though they can certainly direct certain events to happen. Like driving in Hannah’s two best friends to the mansion, in a white van, ready to play detectives, to find out which one of the guys already has a girlfriend laying at home. You might have made me believe for a second that Hannah’s friends really had a weird social media interaction with the girlfriend, but the producers might have just figured that secret out right before the season’s production was beginning, so they decided to hire out Scott’s ultimate demise to two guest stars rooting for the titular character.

Obligatory shirtless screenshot of one of the contestants.

The second guy who was memorable happened to be 26-year-old Matt Donald, who in his introduction video was communicating with his family in sign language. I found that impressive for a hot second, and because I made a note of that, and at the end added to that note whether the guys got a rose or not, consider me surprised that he did not. Besides that, why are seven of the guys (Tyler C., Peter, Mike, Joe, Matt, Connor J., and Luke P.) given introduction videos like this is the most proper thing to do in a reality television show, but the remaining 23 guys had to be introduced via their entrance to the mansion, and their five-second talk’n’hug with Hannah at the front door? I get that having 30 introduction videos would take at least 30 minutes of airtime, and there is simply no time for that, but why these seven guys — five who got a rose and two who didn’t — and not some of the other? Did someone in production draw straws? Was Tyler C. guaranteed his introduction video, because he happened to show his ridiculously awesome hot bod while standing on a boat and dancing like Kevin Bacon?

The prize for being the titular character is a crown.

When it comes to the competition side of the game of THE BACHELORETTE, Luke P. pulled out all the tricks, and pretty much deserved that impression rose before the ceremony. First of all, the guy is the all-around perfect American man. It sounded like he had a solid job, he of course looks like he could be a model, and during his introduction video he was recapping an encounter he had with God while in the shower. Nothing is more perfect than the perfect American white boy who is also a Christian, but that’s not even what made him a winner in this episode. It’s the way he approached Hannah on two different occasions that quickly had him at the front of the line, making him an early frontrunner for Hannah’s heart at the end of the season. Luke P. Was the first of the contestants to “kidnap” Hannah for a quick chat after the introductions at the front door were finished, and Luke P. was the first one to check on and talk with Hannah, right after she kicked Scott the hell out of the mansion. There Luke P. was, among 28 other horny males, and he was the only one who figured this was the perfect opportunity to check in on Hannah and get some bonus points, so that he will at least be remembered when she was thinking about whom to give a rose during the ceremony (and talking to her a second time during the first evening was pretty much a guarantee for a rose during the ceremony). It turns out that talking to the Bachelorette more than once during the first night is a better guarantee of getting to the next round than exploding out of a box (“The Box King” did not get a rose), or rolling into the mansion on a tractor (Matt Donald did not get a rose). In case future contestants are reading this blog, your battle plan might start with individual one-on-ones, instead of making the biggest impression at the front door.

Luke goes all in to win this game.

Naturally, there is one weird guy among the bunch, and I wondered how he came to be in possession of a rose during the ceremony: John Paul Jones will be seen in the following episode, making me a little speechless, which is probably something the producers wanted from the viewers of the show. John Paul Jones already got introduced in a weird fashion (“I’m John Paul Jones, my friends call me John Paul Jones…”), his candid camera moments are being made fun of by the producers, because John Paul Jones’ job is apparently being John Paul Jones, and the kid does look like he is not taking the whole thing serious. Yes, that’s what he looks like after the editing process of the show, and that makes me wonder how he must have been in real-time, considering the rose he ended up with at the end. The writers in the editing bay apparently were asking themselves whether John Paul Jones can be made the villain of the show, as every reality television show seems to be needing a villain.

Best part of the episode: A few more of those “during-credit” sequences with Chris Hansen, and he can be a comedian. The host of the show was working hard to clean up Joe’s mess, which was slightly amusing, and definitely needed, considering most of tHE BACHELORETTE can be annoying as hell sometimes.
Worst part of the episode: Never introduce yourself by your nickname, because as it turns out you don’t advance when you introduce yourself with your nickname. Just ask “The Box King.” The fool who couldn’t stop talking about packaging, and showcasing his talents. Way to make anyone get annoyed by your presence. It’s probably a good thing “The Box King” got kicked early, because I was already imagining his date with Hannah ending up in a packaging factory.
Weirdest part of the episode: Tyler C. sounded like he was drunk when he introduced himself to Hannah at the front door. Consider me surprised that he still got a rose at the end, as I was believing the entire time that he would be going home.
Kisses of the episode: Three of them during these 85 minutes. Cam, the pre-impression rose winner (did I miss an episode in which he was given that rose?), was the first to lock lips with the Bachelorette, followed by Connor S. and Luke P., the latter one getting that kiss after being given the impression rose. Now I am thinking about editing all the kissing scenes of the season into one video, because why the heck not?
Competitor of the episode: Luke P. without a doubt, who has come to realize early on that this is still a competition.